Friday, June 17, 2011

Sacred fire

Many sadhus maintain a sacred fire, the dhuni, which is the centre around which their daily rituals and ascetic exercises are performed. In fact, it should be regarded as the sadhu's 'home' and his 'temple'. As an object of worship, offerings are made to the fire.
The sacred fire and its ashes are obviously related to Shiva, the fiery god and ash-covered Yogi, and is thus a prime symbol of ascetic status, indicating self-sacrifice, transformation in the 'fire of wisdom', and rebirth from the ashes.


Agni or 'Fire'; or the 'god of fire'.
Fire and its relation to the sacrifice was the dominating feature of the fire-cult in Vedic times. The sacrifice was a rite of sympathetic magic in which an offering was made to the gods, the celestial controllers of the mysterious and potent forces of nature, to ensure the continuance of conditions favourable to mankind. To be effective it was essential that the oblation should reach these all-powerful beings. None was more suitable to act as messenger than Agni, whose flames on the altar tended always to rise, as did the aroma of the 'burnt offerings', symbolizing the ascent of the oblation itself.

Important functions are attributed to Agni. He is inherent in every god; he is the priest of the gods, as well as the god of the priests; the honoured guest in every home, who by his magical power drives away the demons of darkness. Because he is born anew with every kindling, he is forever young and is thus the bestower of life and of children, and places seed in women. Being immortal he is able to confer immortality on his devotees. His chariot is drawn by red horses, who leave behind them a blackened trail. He clears a way through the impenetrable jungle and consumes the unwanted forest, so providing 'space' for his followers.

The funeral pyre is the altar of the dead, the last oblation to Agni.





Shmashana (cremation grounds)
Shiva’s abode was the burning ground, which was “covered with hair and bones, full of skulls and heads, thick with vultures and jackals, covered with a hundred funeral pyres, an unclean place covered with flesh, a mire of marrow and blood, scattered piles of flesh, resounding with the cries of jackals” “There is nothing purer than a cremation ground,” Shiva declared.
The hosts of ghostly beings that are his companions loved to dwell there, and Shiva did not like to stay anywhere without them (MBh.13.128.13-16, 18).
Revulsion as a means of detachment had its form in the imagery of the cremation ground. It dwelt not on the cessation of life and the purgation of the body through the consuming fire, but on the byproducts of physical integration. Though gruesome, they were less terrifying than disgusting. Revulsion in its last degree of sublimation reaches up to holiness.


Shiva had turned away from procreation and dwelled in the cemeteries where he liked to stay. His ‘necrophilia’ complemented his aversion to procreation.
The explanation that the dreadful ghosts concentrated there around him would not harm people who thus could live free from fear was only part of his entire statement – which meant that those who feared the awful ghosts were destined to remain outsiders. Only heroes could be near him in the cremation ground, heroes who had defied death and liberated themselves from passions and fear. These were the true devotees of Rudra in his form of dread.
The metaphor of the cemetery is on the same level of intensity of realization with the myths of Shiva dancing while he carried Sati’s dead body. These extreme situations are symbols of Shiva’s power that defies death. Shiva liked his ghostly entourage. It attracted to his presence those who had nothing to fear, who had mastered the onslaught of the multiple categories of threatening powers that were fatal to those who were less than heroes, and who could not control the frightening phantoms because they had not controlled themselves.

The rite of cremation, well known in many countries of the ancient world, has a special justification in the case of the Hindu because of his belief in the reincarnation of the soul in a new body, human or other, a belief which excludes the idea of the resurrection of the body as held by Christians and Muslims, who ordinarily look forward to the miraculous reanimation of the corpse by divine decree at the Day of Judgment. [Therefore their elaborate tombs] From the Hindu point of view, it is evident that when the soul quits its mortal tenement, that tenement is of no further use or value, and its destruction by the purifying element of fire is for him a reasonable and convenient mode of disposing of the dead.




Vaikunth
The Hindus recognize several Abodes of Bliss for the souls of those who have expiated their sins by repeated transmigrations and by the practice of virtue.
There are four principal abodes:
The first is Swarga, where Indra the divinity presides, and where all virtuous souls, without distinction of caste or se+ are to be found.
The second is Vaikuntha, the paradise of Vishnu, where dwell his particular followers, Brahmins and others.
The third is Kailasa, the paradise of Siva, which is reserved for the devout worshippers of the li–gam.
The fourth is Sattya-loka (the Place of Truth), the paradise of Brahma, where only virtuous Brahmins have the right to enter.
The pleasures enjoyed in these several abodes are all corporal and sens-al.






Kailas
Shiva's Himalayan mountain residence, located in the Tibetan part of the Himalayas. The name means crystalline or icy.
In mythology Kailasa is the name of a single peak (situated south of Mount Meru) and is regarded as the paradise of the gods, especially of Shiva and Kubera. The latter was consecrated here as ‘giver of wealth’. On its summit is the great jujujbe tree from whose roots the Ganges rises.



Enlightenment, spirituality
When you'd go to India and happened to encounter some sadhus you might be disappointed.
First you'd have to discriminate between impostors and real sadhus, those that belong for instance to a respectable line of gurus, or are members of a definite sadhu sect. Among the real sadhus you'd have to differentiate between the good, those that follow the ascetic and religious rules, and the bad, those that just have made a superficial adaptation to the rules. Once you've found a good sadhu, you'd have to realize that their 'spirituality' is of a different kind than what we generally mean with this word. Finally, true sages are rare, not to mention the really enlightened ones (if they exist, if enlightenment exists).
Those sadhus that are indifferent to spirituality (even if they perform the prescribed rituals and look their part), are usually involved in some kind of powerplay, all ego and ostentatiousness. This is nothing new. I'll quote a verse, attributed to Kabir, the fifteenth-century poet and mystic, about the Nagas, both Shaiva and Vaishnava:
"Never have I seen such yogis, brother. They wander mindless and negligent, proclaiming the way of Mahadeva. For this they are called great mahants. To markets and bazaars they peddle their meditation -- false siddhas, lovers of maya. When did Dattatreya attack a fort? When did Sukadeva join with gunners'? When did Narada fire a musket? When did Vyasadeva sound a battle cry? These numbskulls make war. Are they ascetics or archers? They profess detachment, but greed is their mind's resolve. They shame their profession by wearing gold. They collect stallions and mares, acquire villages, and go about as millionaires." (I found this quote in an excellent article by William Pinch on warrior-ascetics.)
Especially at Kumbha Melas, one meets a lot of the greedy, gold-wearing numbskulls. Contemporary Nagas don't fight much anymore (only occasionally at Kumbha Melas, such as the one in Haridwar 1998), but the majority don't meditate much either. They just smoke chilams and drink tea.
One more quote, from Ghurye's Indian Sadhus, p. 237, where he mentions "an observation by a modern Sadhu Ram Tirtha in about A.D. 1902: 'The Sadhus of India are a unique phenomenon peculiar to this country. As green mantel gathers over standing water, so have Sadhus collected over India ... Some of them are indeed beautiful lotuses -- the glory of the lake! But the vast majority are unhealthy scum.'"
But as things stand now in India, all sadhus are still considered holy men (though holy in varying degrees, I should add) by a large part of the population, no matter how unspiritual the behaviour and attitude of many babas. That's the mystery, the paradox.




Performers
With their costumes, their make-up, their 'props' and their public appearances, the sadhus in a sense resemble 'performance artists'. Many sadhus show great artistry in painting their face, adorning their body, decorating their stage and performing their act.
As emulators--as artists--of the divine, the sadhus endeavour to express the unearthly beauty of divinities. The sadhus' performances are both for the spiritual benefit of the public and for their own good, since their primary 'audience' is formed by the deities themselves.



Ganga
All water, be it the sea, rivers, lakes or rain, is for the Hindus a symbol of life and is considered to be of divine character. Outstanding in this respect are three sacred rivers, the Ganga, the Yamuna, and the mythical Sarasvati, of which the first is the most important. As the Ganga is feminine, it is often pictured as a woman, possessing long, flowing hair. As a goddess, Ganga washes away the sins of those fortunate enough to have their ashes thrown into her holy waters. In a hymn to the Ganga included in the Brahmavaivarta Purana, Shiva himself says:
'Mountains of sins accumulated by a sinner in the course of his millions of transmigrations on earth disappear at a mere touch of the sacred Ganga water. Cleansed will he be also, who even breathes some of the air moistened by the holy waters.'


The touch of the divine body of Ganga is believed to change anyone who comes in contact with it into a sanctified being.
One of the most colourful stories in Indian mythology is that relating to the circumstances of the coming down of the Ganga from heaven:
Once upon a time there was a group of demons who used to tease Brahmin hermits and upset their prayers. When chased away, they would hide in the ocean, but return at night to resume their teasing. The ascetics then asked the sage Agastya to free them from the torture of temptation. Wishing to help, Agastya chose the easiest course, and swallowed the whole ocean, including the devils. The temptations thus came to an end but the earth was left without water. Men then had to appeal to another sage, Bhagiratha, to deliver them from the scourge of drought. In order to be worthy of a godly boon of such magnitude, Bhagiratha spent a thousand years in ascetic practices and then went before Brahma and asked him to let the heavenly river Ganga—one of the milky ways in the firmament—fall upon the earth.
Brahma, satisfied with the tapasya (ascetic performances) of Bhagiratha, promised to try his best, adding that he would first have to persuade Shiva to help him. He explained that if the great heavenly river fell upon the earth with all the force and immeasurable weight of its waters, earthquakes and unheard of destruction would result. Consequently, someone should interpose himself to absorb the shock of the falling water, and nobody else could do so save the almighty Shiva.
Bhagiratha continued his fastings and his prayers, and the time came when Shiva was moved. He allowed the Ganga to let her waters flow upon the earth and interposed his own head between the sky and the earth to lessen its impact. The heavenly waters then flowed smoothly through his divine hair into the Himalayas, and from there into the Indian plains, bringing prosperity, blessings from heaven, and the remission of sins.

More on Ganga:
Ganga: 'Swift-goer.' Name of the river Ganges and its personification as a goddess. The river rises from an ice-bed, 13,800 feet above sea-level, beyond Gangotri, i.e. ‘the sacred manifestation of the Ganges', at Gaumukh..
The Indus, Yamuna, Narmada and other rivers have similarly become local objects of worship. But to the early Aryan intruders, temporarily halted in the Panjab, the Indus and Sarasvati were the only great Indian rivers known to them. Thus Ganga is mentioned in two passages only of the Rig Veda. and is invoked in hymns to rivers (X.75,5), simply as one of a number of river-goddesses.
With the Aryan occupation of the Gangetic basin, Ganga gradually became the chief river-goddess of a vast area, the subject of numerous legends, and endowed with fabulous virtues. Along the banks temples were erected, each the centre of pilgrimage at which priests could officiate and expect a multiplicity of sacrificial and other 'gifts'. Legend was piled on legend, some of them obviously priestly fictions invented to sustain the role of the priests as intermediaries between the goddess and her devotees.
A celestial Ganga called Abhraganga or Akasaganga was invented, who bore the epithet Devabhuti (flowing from heaven). It was also called Mandakini (the Milky Way), which issued from Vishnu’s left foot; hence Ganga's epithet Visnupadi.

Not only will those who bathe in the Ganga obtain Svarga ('heaven'), but also those whose bones, hair, etc., are left on the banks. All the country through which the Ganges flows should be regarded as hallowed ground. Seeing, touching, or drinking the water or addressing the goddess as 'O mother Ganges', will remove all sin.





Future
My observations at the last Kumbha Melas (Haridwar 1998, Allahabad 2001) have reinforced my opinion that purity of sadhana and "spirituality" (perhaps some more categories), are in accelerating decline. One important factor here is the gradual disappearance of the old generation of sadhus. These are replaced by young Mahants and Shri Mahants, more interested in temporal than "spiritual" power.
So far the number of sadhus seems to remain steady. Even their prosperity seems to be increasing; perhaps the result of support from the growing middle class in India. Perhaps also because nowadays quite a few turn to a new clientele: the foreigners.
But this kind of modernization also involves, on the part of sadhus, a seduction by western gadgets and statussymbols (car, motorcyle, tv, radio, cassetteplayer, watch, etc.), exposure to gullible western tourists of the occult (easily intimidated into donating large sums of money) and temptation by its female contingent (no social control, sexually liberated, easily intimidated). This may lead to a weakening or even disappearing of the limits imposed by a proper sadhana, which in turn leads to loss of respect, and loss of power (in a "spiritual", not materialistic, sense). In another way, however, part of this (the use of mobile phones, email, and websites by sadhus nowadays) can only be seen as a pragmatic adaptation to the 21st century.


See also what Oman, a hundred years ago, has to say about the future of sadhuism

Foreigner Sadhus

Every foreigner in India, no matter how long he stays and how completely he 'indianizes', will always remain an alien.
Yet foreigners can become sadhus too, and the locals consider them just as holy as Indian sadhus. Especially the simple rustics -- 75% of the total population still lives in the countryside -- treat them with great respect and ask for their blessing. The city-dwellers, the modern, Westernized Indians often show less understanding.
Though many nationalities are represented, and both male and female, most of these foreigners are Italian or French.


Some foreign sadhus are 'part-timers', who time and again plunge into the adventure of sadhu-life but keep their ties to the home-front.
Others burn all their bridges, as it should be done, and totally commit themselves to the realization of the sadhu ideals.

[But for those who aspire to become a sadhu, see some advice at the bottom of this page.]

A French sadhu a hundred years ago.


Foreigner Sadhus with Shaivas

Mangalanand Giri, an initiate of the Juna Akhara, at the Kumbha Mela in 2001 at Allahabad.
A.k.a. Goagil.


Ram Puri, an initiate of the Juna Akhara, at the Kumbha Mela in 2001 at Allahabad. In the background the old Shri Mahant of the Juna Akhara, Arjun Puri. Rampuri published an autobiography in 2005 about his experiences as a sadhu.

Parvat Giri (left), an Italian sadhu who is a chela of Dipak Giri (right) and who has been a khareshwari -- i.e. 'standing sadhu' -- for over two years.
He is the first foreign sadhu ever to practise such a serious tapasya.
Dipak Giri, a longtime baba of Italian descent, who is a Mahant in the Avahana Akhara.


The last contingent of the Juna Akhara procession leaves camp on their way to a holy dip in the Shipra river at Ujjain. These are the recently initiated chelas and the babas of lower stature. All the way in the back the two foreign babas were appointed their place. The one with dark hair is Santosh Puri, an Italian baba.



Foreigner Sadhus with Vaishnavas
So today there are at least a few hundred foreign sadhus, male and female, some of whom have been sadhu for over twenty years, and it seems that their number is still increasing.
They are formally initiated into various sects, receive their sadhu name, and in appearance and behaviour conform to the sadhu life-style.


Mohan Das (left), a Japanese sadhu, being blessed by his guru of two years, Mathura Das. According to ancient tradition, the pupil must carry out all his teacher's chores, and Mohan Das acts almost as the slave of his master. However, he does so willingly, since such work brings much positive "karma" to wipe away the sins of previous lives.
(see story) Charan Das, originally an American, lived as a sadhu in India for over twenty years. Cheerful and without cares, he roamed the country for part of the year, going from one holy place to the other, visiting with brother-sadhus.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two stories with foreigner sadhus: An American Sadhu
A true story, all facts. Holy Smoke
A true story, all facts

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some advice for those who aspire to become a sadhu:
Over the years I’ve had many e-mails from Westerners pronouncing their desire of becoming a sadhu, or their wish (or asking about the probability) of meeting a “real” sadhu. Therefore, to answer those kinds of e-mail expected in the future, I’ve included the text below.

If you feel drawn to the sadhu life, go to India and make a pilgrimage to the holy places. There you can talk with sadhus and swamis. Or even in the West you can start: buy a book on hatha yoga and begin to practice. Start to practice meditation. So you'll find out for yourself.

If you are seeking spirituality, you should certainly go to India, and check things out. But have no illusions about yourself following the way of the sadhu, especially if you're not an Indian by birth and upbringing. For foreigners it is extremely difficult to follow the path of the sadhu. Very few "succeed", but it will be very interesting for sure. And what is success anyway?
In India too there are many other ways. For instance, you might also go to an ashram (for a while).
So go and find out for yourself. Don't mind somebody else's opinion; don't believe but investigate. But beware of the religious crooks.
It will be very interesting experience, to say the least. Travel by itself is already a kind of renunciation, especially so in India. Go in the winter. Visit the holy places.
Don't listen to teachers, generally distrust teachers; do your own thing.


As it is, renouncing in the West means being a bum, but to a certain extent, that is the case in India too. The higher and middle class people generally regard sadhus as bums, apart from a few very successful ones — the media-types. The lower classes though, have/show a lot of respect for all sadhus (even foreign-sadhus), and they are still in the majority.
The hash-smoking sadhus are generally more laid-back and permissive. But perhaps they are generally a bit more "extortionist" than non-smokers, since they need quite a lot of money to support their habit. Hash is expensive nowadays in India.
Hash is very relaxing, joyful, inspiring, etcetera, and the sadhus claim it has been part of their culture for ages, but I think it is safe to say that it doesn't provide mystical insights. Especially being of such poor quality as it is today (the good hash is being sold only to foreigners, who can afford the extremely high price).

Which sadhus are sincere or which are showmen? It takes years of experience to tell the difference. But as long as you stay a “tourist of the occult” and don't become a disciple (or a researcher) it's not really that important.
In the eyes of the Indian Rationalist Association all sadhus are frauds (and all priests and wonderworkers, for that matter).
And, strange though it may seem, in a way I agree with them, certainly for as far as the sadhus' pretensions to holiness and enlightenment are concerned. But there are exceptions; there are honest and sincere Babas & Yogis & Swamis, even humble ones who are well aware that their way is but one of many, and that enlightenment may prove elusive.
And isn't that the case in all religions?

Always beware though. "Holiness" is not the same as "goodness", as we in the West tend to think. So even the “good” ones can be real rascals.

While meeting sadhus, what is proper etiquette?
Be respectful; give them some money, fruit, tea, cigarettes, hash. Sine they principally don't work they depend on donations. But if they ask too much (let's say more than a hundred rupees) don't give them anything.


About the number of sadhus, and their future, I'm quite pessimistic. There are some factors that might produce a little increase in numbers (growth of the population, the high unemployment rate, and the rigidity of the caste system) (though the latter factor is losing it's importance rapidly), but sadhus are (or rather were) very much supported by the rural population. But these are exposed to Western ways through TV and, what's more important, they are slowly but surely being replaced by the middle-class, who favour the temples and priests (and who are even more exposed to — and receptive of — Western ways).

Strangely enough it's the Westerners now who are most supportive of the sadhus, but there are not enough of them to support them all. And being disappointed by the lack of spirituality, especially among the younger babas, the Westerners will lose interest real quickly.

But who knows? India and Hinduism are perhaps unpredictable?

Samadhi

An ancient tapasya, bur rarely performed nowadays, is samadhi, usually meaning enlightenment, but in this case referring to a state of suspended animation, a virtual death which may last for a period of days or weeks, during which the spirit leaves the body and travels on the astral plane. The body stays behind, under the ground – in a ‘grave’– or in a casket under water.
I made this photo in 1980. It was in fact the first picture I took of a sadhu, though only his hand sticking out of the sand is visible.
The hand was slowly moving the mala through its fingers. No way could be seen that this person buried in the sand could breath.
The sitting boy is keeping watch over the donations.
Combined with other 'miraculous' events that day (a partial solar eclipse), it would eventually impel me to start my "camera yoga."

A Japanese female sadhu, Mata Keiko Aikawa, is about to descend the ladder into her 'grave', where she would stay, under the ground for five days (at the Kumbha Mela in Ujjain in 1992).
On the right is her Guru, Pilot Baba, who has performed this 'miracle' twenty-seven times.
More recently Pilot Baba stayed under water – without casket – for four days. Reported in the Times of India, 9 November 1992, he said: ‘I have mastered the way to survive in conditions akin to that in the womb.’ It is also reported that the Indian Rationalist Association accused him of fraud.
At the Allahabad Kumbha in 2001 Mela Mata Keiko Aikawa also stayed underground for five days.

The body stays in an airtight chamber under the ground -- a ‘grave’ -- but quite dissimilar from the sarcophagus depicted by Picart.
Another type of samadhi: death of a sadhu.
Sadhus are not cremated as the common Hindus are, but either buried sitting in padmasana, or tied to a chair, loaded with a stone and thrown into a holy river, like the Ganges, shown here.
Usually then they are seen no more, eaten by the creatures in the water, but this unfortunate baba was washed to a shallow part of the river.

Of a dead Shaiva sadhu it is said: "He has gone to Kailas."
Vaishnavas go to Vaikunth.
All supposedly are in samadhi

The Ramanandis

In the beginning of the fourteenth century, a very successful ascetic sect was founded by Ramananda: the Ramananda Sampradaya, popularly known as the Ramanandis.

Nowadays, because of its dominant position, it is regarded as a separate organization, but officially it is still part of the Shri Sampradaya, for Ramananda started his ascetic career as a member of this sect. He remained loyal to the philosophy of its founder Ramanuja, but he choose Rama and Sita as personal gods, and made devotion to them the central feature of the sect's religious practices.
Generally speaking, almost all Vaishnava sadhus are Ramanandis.

Bhagwan Das' elaborate facial painting marks him as a devotee of Lord Rama.
There are quite a few different Vaishnava sects and they can be distinguished by the symbols painted on the forehead, but within a sect the marks are seldom entirely identical.
Most sadhus give it a personal touch. And some make more extreme variations on the fundamental theme.
The result can be quite impressive, as is shown by Hanuman Hari Das (right), but it does not necessarily imply a higher status. Nor does it, by itself, reflect a higher degree of spirituality.

The Sakhis

A sakhi, who regards Lord Rama as her Lover.
Vaishnavas, i.e. sadhus who have chosen Rama or Krishna as their deity, are characterized by a strong, sentimental devotion and total self-surrender to one of his earthly 'incarnations' as the god-king Rama or the divine cowherd Krishna.
The deity is regarded as a 'person' with whom the devotee can establish an intimate bond, which usually takes the form of a Master-slave relationship.


Some sadhus, however, dare to regard him as their Lover, and since the deity is a male, it follows quite logically that they have to play the part of 'mistress' of the Lord. They are designated as sakhis. They imagine having an erotic 'love' relationship with him. Some sakhis even go to the extreme of pretending to have regular se+ual intercourse with their Lord -- except on the days when they're having their 'period'.


Obviously, the se+ual overtones of their behaviour make them rather suspect in the eyes of other ascetics, since repression of se+uality is the norm, not its projection. Even if this projection is aimed at a deity.


Nevertheless, it is a recognized way of expressing devotion to a deity -- and devotion is a characteristic of all sadhus.


These transvestite sadhus are to be distinguished from another group of transvestites, or rather eunuchs, who practise prostitution and obnoxious forms of begging.


The hijras, as they are known, are completely castrated upon initiation into their order. They are regarded as 'neither man nor woman', but they dress like women and affect exaggerated female mannerisms. As in almost all things Indian, there is a religious meaning to their voluntary mutilation and subsequent behaviour.


During Rama-festivals hijras may masquerade as sakhis in order to collect money.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

STUBBORN YOGIS AND YOGA

Click Here!"/a>


Aadhi Yogi



A quiet Sea
A quiet Day
A quiet Mind

But a raging Heart
Click Here!


Blazing with Fire
Of an ancient Sage.

Burning for many a millennia
Destructive for the ignorant
Enlightening for the seeking
Brutal to the stubborn
Tender to the willing.

When all the tricks fall

With the increase of people participating in the practice of Yoga, there has been a rise in the incidents of what is known as Kundalini Blockage. Symptoms of this condition include: sudden jitters, feelings of vertigo, foaming from the mouth, objects leaping off shelves or lights turning themselves on and off around the Yogi, a sudden lack of interest in shopping or even an urge to become an artist.
In the past, getting the Kundalini unblocked usually required much time and energy, usually spent in extended periods of time and great expense, in ashrams in India with famous Indian gurus. Now though, through the innovations of one Yoga studio in Washington, DC, the Kundalini can be unblocked or even removed in about an hour.
As explained by Kimberley of the Pinkdoor Places Yoga studio, “Kundalini Blockage happens when the energy in the root chakra, awakened by meditation or Yoga or even extreme bouts of shopping for Yoga clothing or Yoga mats at the

GreatTranscendentalYoga SuperStore, is trying to move upward and encounters a block; often in the sacral or solar chakra. It grounds itself through the legs until the block above is released”. With that insight, Kimberly has perfected several techniques to wrestle the Kundalini from the junction of the 4 and 5 chakra. She will either sweet talk it (“Now doll, you know how fab you would look if you weren’t feeling so trapped and crawling around people’s spines”), try to sell it something from the Pinkdoor Places Yoga Boutique (“You would look darling in the new fav Pinkdoor Places Yoga Unitard”), threaten it (“Okay bitch, don’t make me have to go in there and lip-gloss you”) or finally beat it into submission while removing it completly from the Yogi if it is practically stubborn.
When asked what happens when the Kundalini is completely removed, Kimberly replied, “Oh, not much really. The Yogis just kind of start acting like the rest of the zoned out Gen X and Ys that tend to show up for my Yoga classes”.
YogaDawg’s 12 Step Plan to Yoga Stardom


Step 1 - Begin by seeking out trendy yoga studios in gentrified areas in either LA or NYC (sorry, but you’ll need to move if you are anywhere else. It’s just not going to happen in Iowa or Kansas). This is where all the rich and beautiful yogis are and who will become your yoga allies. They are the yogis you must befriend and socialize with as you start your ascent to yoga stardom.
Click Here!
4. Click Here!

Of these, you’ll need to figure out who the power yogis are (look for the ones wearing high-end yoga clothes and sporting a Black Manduka yoga mat) and who are new to the game (They are the ones wearing K-Mart crap and practice on pastel colored mats). Most important though, you must figure out who the yoga nut-jobs are (ie they’re the ones spouting crackpot yoga theories and think yoga is all spiritual and everything). Unfortunately there are vast amounts of them in the yoga world. Befriend the former, unless one of the latter can get you introduced to one of the latter. Remember that nut-cases will always lead you astray in your rise to yoga fame.
Click Here!



Step 2 – You will now actually need to learn something about yoga. Have no fear though, as all yoga studios will have books and magazines that you can spy while waiting for a class to begin. No need to invest money for this (in fact your first few classes at most yoga studios will usually be free or nominal in their quest to ‘hook’ you on yoga). Concentrate on books and articles about Iyengar and Ashtanga yoga in particular. The reason for this will become clear in the next step.
Step 3 – With a bit of yoga knowledge under your belt it is now time to chat up the other yogis around you. Always mention Iyengar or Ashtanga to them at every chance possible.


Use a nebulous and tired tone when doing so to suggest you know all about these styles and have practiced them for much longer than you care to remember. Almost all yogis you encounter can relate to one of these as they are the basis of all the other styles out there. Look for their knowing nod of acceptance.
Important Note: Don’t try and add your own opinion of which style is better at this stage; you’ll only confuse things. The important thing to remember for now is that you are trying to win friends, not influence people.


Step 4 – Now is the time to perfect your Yogatude. This is a crucial step in breaking out from the crowd of ordinary yogis. In addition, it is important that you always stay positive and smiling. Even though this yoga star stuff is hard work, it is important to remember that in the yoga world you are always yes, never no.
Click Here!

Step 5 - At this point you should decide what kind of yoga star path you’ll want to take. The two basic avenues are yoga studio owner player or yoga magazine/yoga video player. If you choose the studio owner path, simply go out and buy one. Don’t worry if you’re not certified to teach. You can always hire teachers who are. No one will be the wiser and the beauty is that you won’t have to pay them much anyway. If you have followed the previous steps to satisfaction thus far, you should now be able to ‘steal’ all the cool, tight and trendy yogis from the other studios you hung out with as these yogis will now follow you to your new studio. Your studio will suddenly be THE yoga studio that everyone will want to be seen in.
Note: If you have decided to take the yoga magazine/video path we trust that you have befriended the publisher or editor of a hot yoga magazine that has offered you opportunities to appear in articles and on the cover. Strive to get into as many articles and covers as possible. Don’t waste too much time actually doing yoga. There are yogis who have built their whole careers doing this. In any event save the yoga for the videos.

Click Here!


Step 6 – Needless to say, you will need to develop and protect your public image (this is not the time to be caught catching a smoke in the back of your studio or being drunk while checking in your marks, umm, I mean students). Always remember that your image is what you will live off of going forward. Guard it like a yoga warrior!
Click Here!
Step 7 – You are now at the crucial stage in your rise to yoga stardom; the picking of your brand. Bandanas, speedos and hot pants have all been successfully used in the past. A perennial favorite is to appear somewhat exotic. People in the yoga scene love things they don’t understand (keep things mysterious) and we’re not just talking Sanskrit. On the other hand, if you have great hair and/or a great body, you will stand out from the gaggle of other wanna-be yoga stars. Use this to your advantage. Most important though is to make a point of saying that you think yoga transcends the outward appearances of great hair and great bodies while driving home that in fact, you have great hair and a great body.


Step 8 - Cultivate extensive yoga buzz about yourself. It’s impossible for everyone to be everywhere at once so use yoga blogs to your advantage. Comment on those run by snarky yoga bloggers and drop hints about your connections to past yoga stars (and hopefully dead ones so it will be hard to follow up on your claims) and yoga greatness. Banter with these yoga malcontents as you watch your yoga star shoot up proportionately as each of your comments get posted from blog to blog like wildfire.
Click Here!

Special note: Be extremely cautious about doing this on YogaDawg’s blog. Extreme bouts of schizophrenia and uncontrolled laughter have been reported from pretentious uptight yoga stars who have visited it. There is no exit here for the cunning.
Step 9 - You are now in low yoga star orbit and need to cultivate one additional trait to solidify your yoga image of those around you. Your goal now is to learn to act spacey (giving you an air of authenticity as it will show that you are have transcended your ties to ordinary daily living). Ideally, you will act this way around yoga students, yoga magazine publishers and sport cloths manufacturers who you will be vying to get endorsements from (you are trying to get endorsements at this point, aren’t you?) Be assured that after a while you’ll become so spacey that you won’t need to act any more..


Step 10 – Create your own special “thing”. Be assured that there is always an angle to be worked, a yoga style to be invented. As much as yoga people like to think they are practicing ancient yoga methods tied to past yoga gurus, a cult of yoga newness flourishes among them (they are all suckers for the latest yoga trend). Invention counts.


Step 11 - Now is the time to take things a step further by having an impact on the yoga movement itself. Claim your yoga territory by creating a cause or a mission that can easily be used to further your brand with the right PR slant. Use your new found fame strategically. If it brings you riches, with, say, a rise in endorsements or ads in magazines, start a new trendy yoga foundation with a hip yoga sounding name.
Step12 – That’s it! You did it!! Congrats! You are a yoga star. You can now om comfortably in your Malibu beach home or Park Avenue apartment. Om Shanti and don’t forget to send in a monthly donation to the non-profit YogaDawg Foundation.
YogaDawg Exclusive


YogaDawg gets the nod from Yoga Journal
Dear gentle yoga humor readers:
With the mention of the YogaDawg blog in the August 2009 issue of Yoga Journal, many of you yogis have come to this site in search of yoga snark and satire. YogaDawg welcomes you in the full embrace of yoga humor. This is the place to get your yoga laugh groove on while giving you a rest from the jaded seriousness of mainstream yoga world. Snuggle up with your favorite computer while doing yoga poses and become free as you discover the side-splitting yoga hilarity contained within.
Here is how the YogaDawg site would be described if Yoga Journal wrote a feature about it (ummm, ahh, clear throat, cough; it was written by a Yoga Journal writer):
My Third Eye Itches is a satirical, illustrated reference guide to yoga. Written in the voice of a fictional guru, Sri Sri Swami Baba Guru YogaDawg, it challenges the 15.8 million Americans who practice yoga to find the humor in an ancient Indian philosophy turned $5.7 billion industry. While My Third Eye Itches is designed for both the novice and experienced yogi, it is peppered with jokes that only serious yogis can fully appreciate.


In My Third Eye Itches, YogaDawg guides the reader through three progressive phases of yoga know-how. He begins with the basics, explaining yoga styles through the lens of high school cliques and neatly categorizing teachers and students into irreverent stereotypes. He then describes the ins and outs of starting a yoga studio, from selecting the appropriate “transitional” neighborhood locale to recruiting friends and family for manual labor in exchange for free yoga classes. Finally, YogaDawg reveals the innermost workings of the yoga industry, including yoga shopping, yoga news, yoga workshops, and the all-important Yogatude.
YogaDawg and his crass yoga advice was created shortly after stumbling into his first yoga class. Throughout his evolution as a yoga student, he maintained a yoga humor Web site that now draws innumerable unique visits per day from around the globe. YogaDawg.com has won the accolades of many prominent yogis, including author Anne Cushman, yoga performance artist Edward Clark, comedian Vanda Mikoloski, Nike yoga spokesperson Kimberly Fowler, and Kirtan master, David Newman (Durga Das). My Third Eye Itches is the culmination of YogaDawg’s in-demand brand of yoga humor and has been awarded the Cool Site of the Day award
Namaste and hoping you too find the humor in yoga,
It doesn't absolutely want to make proselytism in accord with the conviction that any religion is pure illusion, fruit of mental conjectures and that in sum it estranges the man from the native spiritual message.
The First Yogi’s Fire shall
Burn the ignorant pall
To light the future’s citadel

Citadels of future are first
built in the minds of Ignorance or Light

These citadels when lit with Grace
Of the Blue-Bodied Maker of all race
Will be a worthy place to dwell here
and a passage to the ways of the beyond.

O’ how fortunate are we
To carry the Fire of the Aadhi Yogi.

- Sadhguru



Sadhguru’s message on the Bhumi Pooja of Aadhi Yogi Alayam (in Tamil – translated):

Within myself, I have always been bothered that the great Aadhi Yogi is not being held on the right kind of pedestal that He deserves in this world. With this in mind, we are creating suitable tools, not just as a sign of gratitude, but also to make the knowledge and technology He has given to the world available to more and more people. We want to start this in many other places in the world, but the first step is happening at the foothills of these mountains.

This is only the first step. We stand here today with a promise within us that we will make His footprint happen all over the world.

- SadhguruAfter a few months I return again with more followers lol, thank you to everyone who has been to this page and I apologize for no response from me for awhile. It seems every time I thought of some idea or had a moment of inspiration the old writer's block floated on in and I could not put down one single thought.

I am officially in the 8th Annual Western Hatha Yoga Competition as of this Saturday. What have I learned or tried to incorporate into my test of skill (if you may)?

* A proper diet is essential in maintaining energy, flexibility, hydration, strength and endurance.
* I miss my sugar, dairy and wheat:(

* There are many challenges towards this type of goal and lots of stress factors that will rev up your emotions. It is normal to feel temporarily discouraged but the most important thing to know is that another day lies ahead to keep yourself balanced. Another day to revive your confidence.

* If you just ask for help, it is always there within your reach. My stubbornness can outweigh my need for support sometimes but through my favorite yoga guru, Frank (have I mentioned he is temporarily back in town?) I understand my body, it's abilities, my capacity for learning and most importantly the confidence I now have to firmly walk up on that stage and say 'I can do this'.

* I am in awe of the other competitors who I will have the privilege of competing with, I understand their struggles, their emotions, and their nervousness and they all have my utmost respect.



*The flu, ear infection, sore spine, bruises, sore elbows, sleeping problems and a stubborn cough are not going to get the better of me!

*I am going to order my favorite pasta with a ginger ale and a mouthwatering chocolate dessert the day after the competition. It's about balance, right?




With the increase of people participating in the practice of Yoga, there has been a rise in the incidents of what is known as Kundalini Blockage. Symptoms of this condition include: sudden jitters, feelings of vertigo, foaming from the mouth, objects leaping off shelves or lights turning themselves on and off around the Yogi, a sudden lack of interest in shopping or even an urge to become an artist.
In the past, getting the Kundalini unblocked usually required much time and energy, usually spent in extended periods of time and great expense, in ashrams in India with famous Indian gurus. Now though, through the innovations of one Yoga studio in Washington, DC, the Kundalini can be unblocked or even removed in about an hour.
As explained by Kimberley of the Pinkdoor Places Yoga studio, “Kundalini Blockage happens when the energy in the root chakra, awakened by meditation or Yoga or even extreme bouts of shopping for Yoga clothing or Yoga mats at the GreatTranscendentalYoga SuperStore, is trying to move upward and encounters a block; often in the sacral or solar chakra. It grounds itself through the legs until the block above is released”. With that insight, Kimberly has perfected several techniques to wrestle the Kundalini from the junction of the 4 and 5 chakra. She will either sweet talk it (“Now doll, you know how fab you would look if you weren’t feeling so trapped and crawling around people’s spines”), try to sell it something from the Pinkdoor Places Yoga Boutique (“You would look darling in the new fav Pinkdoor Places Yoga Unitard”), threaten it (“Okay bitch, don’t make me have to go in there and lip-gloss you”) or finally beat it into submission while removing it completly from the Yogi if it is practically stubborn.
When asked what happens when the Kundalini is completely removed, Kimberly replied, “Oh, not much really. The Yogis just kind of start acting like the rest of the zoned out Gen X and Ys that tend to show up for my Yoga classes”.
YogaDawg’s 12 Step Plan to Yoga Stardom
Step 1 - Begin by seeking out trendy yoga studios in gentrified areas in either LA or NYC (sorry, but you’ll need to move if you are anywhere else. It’s just not going to happen in Iowa or Kansas). This is where all the rich and beautiful yogis are and who will become your yoga allies. They are the yogis you must befriend and socialize with as you start your ascent to yoga stardom. Of these, you’ll need to figure out who the power yogis are (look for the ones wearing high-end yoga clothes and sporting a Black Manduka yoga mat) and who are new to the game (They are the ones wearing K-Mart crap and practice on pastel colored mats). Most important though, you must figure out who the yoga nut-jobs are (ie they’re the ones spouting crackpot yoga theories and think yoga is all spiritual and everything). Unfortunately there are vast amounts of them in the yoga world. Befriend the former, unless one of the latter can get you introduced to one of the latter. Remember that nut-cases will always lead you astray in your rise to yoga fame.
Step 2 – You will now actually need to learn something about yoga. Have no fear though, as all yoga studios will have books and magazines that you can spy while waiting for a class to begin. No need to invest money for this (in fact your first few classes at most yoga studios will usually be free or nominal in their quest to ‘hook’ you on yoga). Concentrate on books and articles about Iyengar and Ashtanga yoga in particular. The reason for this will become clear in the next step.
Step 3 – With a bit of yoga knowledge under your belt it is now time to chat up the other yogis around you. Always mention Iyengar or Ashtanga to them at every chance possible. Use a nebulous and tired tone when doing so to suggest you know all about these styles and have practiced them for much longer than you care to remember. Almost all yogis you encounter can relate to one of these as they are the basis of all the other styles out there. Look for their knowing nod of acceptance.
Important Note: Don’t try and add your own opinion of which style is better at this stage; you’ll only confuse things. The important thing to remember for now is that you are trying to win friends, not influence people.
Step 4 – Now is the time to perfect your Yogatude. This is a crucial step in breaking out from the crowd of ordinary yogis. In addition, it is important that you always stay positive and smiling. Even though this yoga star stuff is hard work, it is important to remember that in the yoga world you are always yes, never no.
Step 5 - At this point you should decide what kind of yoga star path you’ll want to take. The two basic avenues are yoga studio owner player or yoga magazine/yoga video player. If you choose the studio owner path, simply go out and buy one. Don’t worry if you’re not certified to teach. You can always hire teachers who are. No one will be the wiser and the beauty is that you won’t have to pay them much anyway. If you have followed the previous steps to satisfaction thus far, you should now be able to ‘steal’ all the cool, tight and trendy yogis from the other studios you hung out with as these yogis will now follow you to your new studio. Your studio will suddenly be THE yoga studio that everyone will want to be seen in.
Note: If you have decided to take the yoga magazine/video path we trust that you have befriended the publisher or editor of a hot yoga magazine that has offered you opportunities to appear in articles and on the cover. Strive to get into as many articles and covers as possible. Don’t waste too much time actually doing yoga. There are yogis who have built their whole careers doing this. In any event save the yoga for the videos.
Step 6 – Needless to say, you will need to develop and protect your public image (this is not the time to be caught catching a smoke in the back of your studio or being drunk while checking in your marks, umm, I mean students). Always remember that your image is what you will live off of going forward. Guard it like a yoga warrior!


Step 7 – You are now at the crucial stage in your rise to yoga stardom; the picking of your brand. Bandanas, speedos and hot pants have all been successfully used in the past. A perennial favorite is to appear somewhat exotic. People in the yoga scene love things they don’t understand (keep things mysterious) and we’re not just talking Sanskrit. On the other hand, if you have great hair and/or a great body, you will stand out from the gaggle of other wanna-be yoga stars. Use this to your advantage. Most important though is to make a point of saying that you think yoga transcends the outward appearances of great hair and great bodies while driving home that in fact, you have great hair and a great body.
Step 8 - Cultivate extensive yoga buzz about yourself. It’s impossible for everyone to be everywhere at once so use yoga blogs to your advantage. Comment on those run by snarky yoga bloggers and drop hints about your connections to past yoga stars (and hopefully dead ones so it will be hard to follow up on your claims) and yoga greatness. Banter with these yoga malcontents as you watch your yoga star shoot up proportionately as each of your comments get posted from blog to blog like wildfire.
Special note: Be extremely cautious about doing this on YogaDawg’s blog. Extreme bouts of schizophrenia and uncontrolled laughter have been reported from pretentious uptight yoga stars who have visited it. There is no exit here for the cunning.


Step 9 - You are now in low yoga star orbit and need to cultivate one additional trait to solidify your yoga image of those around you. Your goal now is to learn to act spacey (giving you an air of authenticity as it will show that you are have transcended your ties to ordinary daily living). Ideally, you will act this way around yoga students, yoga magazine publishers and sport cloths manufacturers who you will be vying to get endorsements from (you are trying to get endorsements at this point, aren’t you?) Be assured that after a while you’ll become so spacey that you won’t need to act any more..
Step 10 – Create your own special “thing”. Be assured that there is always an angle to be worked, a yoga style to be invented. As much as yoga people like to think they are practicing ancient yoga methods tied to past yoga gurus, a cult of yoga newness flourishes among them (they are all suckers for the latest yoga trend). Invention counts.
Step 11 - Now is the time to take things a step further by having an impact on the yoga movement itself. Claim your yoga territory by creating a cause or a mission that can easily be used to further your brand with the right PR slant. Use your new found fame strategically. If it brings you riches, with, say, a rise in endorsements or ads in magazines, start a new trendy yoga foundation with a hip yoga sounding name.
Step12 – That’s it! You did it!! Congrats! You are a yoga star. You can now om comfortably in your Malibu beach home or Park Avenue apartment. Om Shanti and don’t forget to send in a monthly donation to the non-profit YogaDawg Foundation.
YogaDawg Exclusive



YogaDawg gets the nod from Yoga Journal
Dear gentle yoga humor readers:
With the mention of the YogaDawg blog in the August 2009 issue of Yoga Journal, many of you yogis have come to this site in search of yoga snark and satire. YogaDawg welcomes you in the full embrace of yoga humor. This is the place to get your yoga laugh groove on while giving you a rest from the jaded seriousness of mainstream yoga world. Snuggle up with your favorite computer while doing yoga poses and become free as you discover the side-splitting yoga hilarity contained within.
Here is how the YogaDawg site would be described if Yoga Journal wrote a feature about it (ummm, ahh, clear throat, cough; it was written by a Yoga Journal writer):
My Third Eye Itches is a satirical, illustrated reference guide to yoga. Written in the voice of a fictional guru, Sri Sri Swami Baba Guru YogaDawg, it challenges the 15.8 million Americans who practice yoga to find the humor in an ancient Indian philosophy turned $5.7 billion industry. While My Third Eye Itches is designed for both the novice and experienced yogi, it is peppered with jokes that only serious yogis can fully appreciate.
In My Third Eye Itches, YogaDawg guides the reader through three progressive phases of yoga know-how. He begins with the basics, explaining yoga styles through the lens of high school cliques and neatly categorizing teachers and students into irreverent stereotypes. He then describes the ins and outs of starting a yoga studio, from selecting the appropriate “transitional” neighborhood locale to recruiting friends and family for manual labor in exchange for free yoga classes. Finally, YogaDawg reveals the innermost workings of the yoga industry, including yoga shopping, yoga news, yoga workshops, and the all-important Yogatude.
YogaDawg and his crass yoga advice was created shortly after stumbling into his first yoga class. Throughout his evolution as a yoga student, he maintained a yoga humor Web site that now draws innumerable unique visits per day from around the globe. YogaDawg.com has won the accolades of many prominent yogis, including author Anne Cushman, yoga performance artist Edward Clark, comedian Vanda Mikoloski, Nike yoga spokesperson Kimberly Fowler, and Kirtan master, David Newman (Durga Das). My Third Eye Itches is the culmination of YogaDawg’s in-demand brand of yoga humor and has been awarded the Cool Site of the Day award
Namaste and hoping you too find the humor in yoga,

The site proposes to spread and to let know the Aghori culture too often misunderstood and stigmatized as one dark "sect". It doesn't absolutely want to make proselytism in accord with the conviction that any religion is pure illusion, fruit of mental conjectures and that in sum it estranges the man from the native spiritual message.
Holiness is still common in India. In most Hindu households, shops and businesses are altars and shrines, and the day is routinely started with the worship of gods and gurus.
Many mountains, rivers, stones and trees are sacred. Dozens of cities are holy and, of course, the millions of temples and idols. Quite a few animals are holy -- the cow, of course, but also the bull, the monkey, the elephant, the peacock, the snake, the rat....
So it may come as no surprise that people can be holy too, though they have to become holy.
The Indian concept of holiness is quite different from that in the West. It is not necessarily (though often) associated with the "good."



Shaivas, the followers of Shiva
Naga babas Gorakhnathis Udasin Aghoris